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Chaddly

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(no subject) [May. 12th, 2017|08:28 pm]
Chaddly
It's been a long time since I've been written anything down or even opened up to anyone lately about me life,and where I'm headed. Hell, I don't even know where I'm going. I was in a rut for a while when I lived in Metairie with Fizz and used the goal of fixing the house as short term goal to work toward. Fast forward a few years and several thousand dollars and here i am. I'm looking for another short term goal to fulfill but can't seem to get a hold on it.

People ask me what I enjoy. I can list like 3 things. Gaming, Learning (to a degree) and problem solving (when they aren't mine)

What do I want to learn.
-Korean
-Spanish
-Music- Drum, guitar, piano even
-Dancing - like not pump but actually different styles

What's in my way. Currently my mental block. I have no financial restrictions or space restraints. I know that I'm scared to invest any money into them and not finish or be able to do what I want with them. The most simple is dancing. i could do that for free and watch videos. Maybe I should start there.
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Dream 11 7 11 [Nov. 6th, 2011|11:44 am]
Chaddly
Sitting outside, in montz with light around michelle som blonde hair girl and myself. There is no fire so I dunno where the light comes from. Michelle looks to the road as if something is wrong. Before I look, I look at the blonde. She says something I can't remember, but I look. Its a dude in marine gear with an uzi coming down past the trailer. I look back and the blonde is gone, only michelle is there. We end up in the trailer. She. Sends me to get my car ready. I go outside and hop in my car. The guy sees me and starts shooting at me. I second guess going back to get michelle, but wake up before I make the next move.
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i wanna [Aug. 2nd, 2009|09:53 pm]
Chaddly
go back in time, back when i was a child with no cares in the world. before there were any drugs , where i had all my same friends and could just chill, or having a place to chill would be nice. Seems like everything goes through in intervals and phases. games with friends, boomtown,fun arcade dibbz. so many eras i guess you could say gone by, i would have rather not had to leave those places or the people behind but of course people change and grow out of hobbys and even other people.

Fuck life 666
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NO more work til sat [Mar. 10th, 2009|11:37 pm]
Chaddly
Just worked 6 days str8 and I'm off til sat, which has me in til like 11 for some fucking training on how to begin licking the customers anus directly as opposed to just kissing the ass cheeks.

If people would treat others as they wanted to be treated there wouldn't be any problems in the store. But of course people are inherently assholes and think they're special just cause they could pay a phone bill for 5 years. YOU DON'T FUCKING GO TO COX AND DEMAND FREE SERVICE BECAUSE YOU'VE OWNED UP TO YOUR END OF THE AGREEMENT. YOU DON'T GO TO A CAR DEALERSHIP AND ASK FOR A NEW CAR BECAUSE YOUR CURRENT ONE IS BREAKING DOWN!!

ugh

FUCK CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!
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happiness VS H.AP.P.I.N.E.S.S [Mar. 3rd, 2009|11:49 am]
Chaddly
[Current Location |Home]
[music |As the Rush Comes]

I'm starting to find myself stressing hardcore over the event as of late. With Approximatly 23 people coming in from outta state and the other 13 being here, my house is gonna be packed. Here I am once again the bystander sucked in to assume full responsibility of everything.

Depending on how this whole thing goes dictates if i'll ever to it again.

On the other end of the spectrum, my dad is getting knee surgery, and might not be able to work anymore. Pierre is jobless now, and the tenants next door are moving out.

The only positive in any of that is that if the tenants are gone, and the other side doesn't get rented til after april. the event will go off w/o a hitch. if not then ohh well.
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update [Feb. 27th, 2009|12:06 am]
Chaddly
I been doing some thinking and nothing much has come from it. I'm tired now, but just know that I'll be posting here a bit more. BTW i'm pretty much done w/ the whole Myspace thing. It's a terribad was of time and horrible way to keep in touch. Still keeping it up for the few people i'm not close w/ though.

End.
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Convience... [Jan. 7th, 2009|01:42 am]
Chaddly
[Current Location |Home...]
[music |me...]

Not often the word of choice when it comes to how you describe relationships nor friendships for that matter. Apparently my family has done everything short of disowning me for not confiding, or committing to them and I'm set up to be the biggest subject of "I told you so" ever.

On the cutting board one man's college aspirations shot down by finances to meek to support the habit due his own living expenses which rise despite everything he does to reduce them. Ultimately they are driven by other people. People that when they say they'll help you, actually do, and stick with it. Instead what do I get. A bunch of no good silver spoon fed leeches who have NO desire to be on their own and some that only lend a helping hand as long as its good for them as well.

I have a few options. get a 2nd job and bust my ass to pay bills and live alone. Move to a smaller place alone. Or continue to follow along people that "help" me. Frankly I don't like any of them but I have so much pride I can't fathom being anywhere else. As far as family there's no one to "lean" on unlike my "friend's" in the past, who seem to just go back to mommy and daddy and not have anything else to worry about except food and maybe car insurance. I say bullshit, Call me bitter, call me jealous but i feel that its just dumb that i was born into these meager circumstances and have to bust my ass and save and struggle for everything I want, or want to do. When all around me these "kids" get cars from mommy, and notes and insurance paid by dad.

WTF am I working so hard for. How is any of this fair? "ooh it will make you a better person" "you learn from your struggles" Bullshit I've lost over half of my immediate family to sickness all within the time it took for me to graduate high school. That car I drive was a graduation present from my mom yes. However that doesn't make me a hypocrite seeing as she had to die for me to get it.

(Run down for idiots. Jacques("good friend") moved in to help with rent only to leave because he couldn't keep a job and ultimately because Pierre "best friend" wanted Lee "asshole" to move in who only stayed for 2 months but within that time rekindled the flame in my soul to hate someone.And now the one closest to me wants to leave my house for an apartment in metairie...how lovely, the one person that I didn't expect to live now has leverage. )

Keep your friends close....

Any One with some insight on why i continue trying fit a square into a circle.
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Military Splash [Dec. 18th, 2008|02:35 am]
Chaddly
I played Troopers ALL DAY and i still don't have five hammer, pluto, vox up, children't book or the last striker. FUCK MAN. Oh well i'm off tomorrow too so i'll try again.
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Scared [Oct. 13th, 2008|12:49 am]
Chaddly
I'm just really scared, I feel like a victim too. Pretty disappointed in myself. It seems to intertwined with me and i dunno if i can be stopped or what to do if i do stop it. I'm not sure if i wanna.

Random I know just call me crazy and pay no mind.
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Update [Sep. 9th, 2008|10:41 pm]
Chaddly
School... ugh, just wanna keep on top of everything I s'pose.

I feel like i needa be creative in some sense but I dunno how. Like maybe i could right or sumthing. I dunno.

I'll right something soon, i feel the urge but I have so many thoughts, so many feelings.

My concerns are not of this world anymore and I guess thats why I feel the urge to write.
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